The constant state of humble which parenthood provides.
Okay, maybe you didn't actually utter the words out loud, but all parents will have moments where we do things that we know our pre-kid selves would have objected to with a snort laughed or feverishly denied any chance of us ever doing it. Pfffft. Yeah right. Poor pre-kid fool!
Whether it's some unusual emergency solution to a situation you never saw coming, like using your shirt to wipe off vomit your baby got in their eyes, or whether it's just your standards being steadily lowered and loosened up, like licking off a glob of food they got on a TV remote.
Maybe you haven't done all or even most of these, but if we're being honest, we've all done things we never thought we'd do.
You'd never…lick food off your kid's head or face or hands.
"Oh, you got a little on your head, honey." (SLURP!)
You'd never…become a slave to car ride or stroller naps.
You'd never…have a laundry chair or mountain, clean or dirty.
You'd never…use screentime like a form of currency with your kid.
"Okay, sweetie, but just one more video. Maybe two."
You'd never…flip a cushion because you absolutely just cannot deal with that right now.
You'd never…forget you flipped a cushion until you're searching for something months later.
You'd never…lie about your baby being sick to get out of things.
"Oh gosh, throwing up all over the place. So yeah, maybe next time."
You'd never…become hyper-judgey and paranoid about who babysits your kid.
You'd never…swear in front of your kid accidentally. Or on purpose.
You'd never…cry or feel sad for no particular reason whatsoever.
You'd never…eat over the sink so you there's not even one more dang dish to clean.
"Hey. Plastic food containers are like square bowls. Don't judge me."
You'd never…forget your own kid's name. Badly. And repeatedly.
You'd never…just shrug after witnessing your kid eat some floor food.
You'd never…create a makeshift diaper because you ran out.
You'd never…wind up making the same meal over and over and over because they'll actually eat it.
You'd never…lose your last nerve and step away to scream.
You'd never…make a meal for yourself out of your child's leftovers.
You'd never…say the stuff your parents said when they were raising you.
You'd never…hover or worry over your kid obnoxiously.
You'd never…use your hands to catch vomit.
You'd never…go without sleep for so unimaginably long.
"Rock a-bye baby in the tr… Zzz Zzz Zzz Zzz"
You'd never…get horribly sad when they started growing up so much and so fast.
The list could go on and on. They're all different, but every single one of us have things we do as parents that we just wouldn't have believe ourselves capable of before we actually had kids. Some are quirky mistakes or embarrassing make-dos, but some are really impressive strengths you didn't know you had and victories you'd never have guessed you could achieve.
HTBAD is a paid contributor to Clorox’s SpinCycle, helping you navigate the messiness of parenthood.