105134

We want them to grow up, it's our job as parents, but at the same time we soon learn how bittersweet it can be. When their tiny little fists let go of our thumbs. When we can't pick them up in our arms anymore. When they can finally pick US up! No matter how much in our hearts they're "our babies," they get bigger.

Let's look at certain milestones kids hit as they grow. (These aren't intended as instructions or averages, just a fun and feelsie look at their progressive growed-upness.)

Young Person Height

Around 5 feet, the carseats and boosters are gone. They're using a seatbelt and you may be having misty-eyed flashes of them driving or going off to college. You may catch them wrecking the bathroom pretend shaving or putting on makeup.

Cookie Jar Thief Height

Around 4.5+ feet, even things at the back of kitchen counters are fair game. Good news: they can wash melted chocolate off their own hands. Bad news: they'll probably wipe it on their clothes beforehand and leave the water running.

Big Roller Coaster-er Height

Around 4 feet, a kid's head will finally make it over the big-kid line at theme parks. You'll need to be mindful they don't head butt you in the gut with one of their running hugs. Also beware, they can also get into any dresser drawer. Just sayin'.

Impossible to Dress Height

Kids will hit certain heights where shopping becomes a total gamble, like some violation of physics, clothes just maddeningly never seem to fit on the first try. At this point, you may also discover a booger on a light switch or two or all.

Crib Release Height

After 34 inches, babies will graduate out of their barred sleeping situation and be released on parol into a new bed setup. Child-safety and mess-prevention measures will rise like a flood in your home along with your kid's height and your worry levels.

Oven Knob Height

Toddling around at around 28 inches, there are a bunch of no-nos a kid will want-want that they can now get-get. You won't be able ignore the dust and dead bugs on your home's window sills anymore.

Fresh Out of the Oven Height

Newborns are around 20 inches, but since they're not exactly striking epic disco poses or standing at all, so they're probably better described as so-and-so LONG than TALL.

Like the rings of a tree trunk, some of us have marked door jams, walls or long sticks with the heights of our kids. My mom did. It was exciting for me when she held a ruler on my head and commemorated my taller height with a dated slash of a pencil. Like most kids, I was dying to grow up.

Now that I have kids of my own, growing like weeds, I can imagine how my mom may have felt a mixture of pride and "the feels" at my own growing up.

How to Be a Dad is a paid contributor to Clorox’s SpinCycle, helping you navigate the messiness of parenthood.