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Parenting is a tremendously important and incredible experience. It can make you feel invulnerable one day and fragile the next. But this is often most obvious in the small things, the details.

For example, the use of language may dissolve entirely.

Parenting is like the Clorox® Bleach for lucid thought. Powerful and complete, taking care of children wipes away your ability to think clearly. Below is a list of phrases you may have already said, and some you get to look forward to as the years progress.

"Grab me the thingy?"
Translation: I want you to get the necessary object (near or far) that relates to what I'm doing right now, please.

"Name, Name, Name — whatever your name is..."
Translation: I am so tired and/or hungry and/or angry and/or forgetful that I literally need to use every name I know to arrive at your name.

"I'd like ... some ... hold this!"
Translation: I don't know what I want yet, hold on to this for me while I quickly prevent our child(ren) from pulling heavy objects down on themselves.

"You said that you were going to do it or something. Remember?"
Translation: I don't want to do this, I'm going to see if I win a battle of forgetfulness and make you think you agreed to do it.

"Wait! We're going tomorrow, or the next day? It's Tuesday, right? We're supposed to be... Isn't there something? I could sweat there was something. Did we already say we'd go?"
Translation: We're not going.

"Do as I say, not as I said, because you're doing that."
Translation: I’m a grownup pretending to be an adult who has this whole child-rearing thing figured out.

"Your face will stay like that..."
Translation: You’ve ignored me every other time I’ve said something so now I have to come up with some illogical, improbable reason for that thing to stop. Now.

"Please, I neeeeeeeed this."
Translation: If I don't have this, one or both of us will be dead tomorrow.

"Whu...?Me!?! NO!"
Translation: How could you possibly accuse me of that thing that I very likely did.

"I'm pregnant."
Translation: Everything is going to change. Again. Enjoy!

Got any of your own? Add your in the comments and let's hear your Parentese, Momlish, your Dadican. We're fluent in exhaustion, too.

How to Be a Dad is a paid contributor to Clorox’s SpinCycle helping you navigate the messiness of parenthood.