When holiday joy spreads in the form of a mess
There are so many ways kids' toys can turn your house into a fitting candidate to feature on a reality TV show about dirty hoarders. Let's take stroll through a few of them, as a sort of warning to new parents and a good, bitter laugh for veteran parents who already know.
The first mess toys will make: shredded drifts of brightly-colored paper. And smaller kids, who open presents bit by tiny bit, will turn it into festive confetti you'll be discovering pieces of throughout the year.
Then, your kid (more likely you) will be rescuing their gifts from their demonic packaging bondage, leaving you with the recyclable landfill to shovel up. In the case of foam packing pellets, the miracle of static electricity will have you hunting down little white bits everywhere. Like, "on the ceiling" everywhere.
Slime and clay and kinetic sand, oh my! Kids' clay is all fun and games until it becomes a doughy mess(!) and you start discovering neon barnacles fused into your carpet.
Crafty & Creative
You want to fuel your kids' imagination with creative toys and art supplies, but you also don't want the items in your home fused together with glitter and glue or marker murals decorating your walls.
When you move into a home and wonder how the baseboards could possible get so thrashed, you stop wondering after you buy your kid a few toys with wheels. Any toy that's hard or capable of being thrown can put some industrial-grade wear and tear on a home and its contents.
Aside from the nuisance of stepping on a few brutally sharp runaway pieces, toys that have a bazillion pieces will soon have you dreading the sound of a bin or box being overturned. For the seventh time in the day.
Homes these days have so much technology, parents need to seriously question their sanity when buying any toy that involves fluids. Bubble blowers, water guns, toys with dyes ... Seriously, check your home or renter insurance policy.
Kids will inevitably fill boxes, buckets and bags with things you never thought you'd have to worry about, creating portable messes so they can distribute catastrophe evenly throughout the house.
So. Much. Stuff. Everywhere. When it's time to clear out the landfill the kid's room has become, every single possession will become their absolute favorite. Books missing pages, headless dolls, cracked fragments and stray parts. One mom or dad's junk is their kid's treasure.