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You need another vacation.

There aren’t enough free pens in the world that can make for these moments:

1. When you thought you pressed cancel.

It’s not that you used the office printer to print concert tickets. It’s that you did it while your supervisor was at the printer.

2. When you thought no one was around.

We all talk to ourselves. But usually we’re not doing it in a high-pitched cartoon voice with our bosses right behind us.

3. Caring is not sharing your screen.

You decided to creep the cutie on the conference call on Facebook, but forgot you were sharing your screen with everyone on the call.

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4. When you were actually sick.

You went for the bonus points but all you got was more sick, and a “what are you doing?” when your supervisor caught you sleeping under your desk.

5. Flirting with disaster.

Who clicks “Reply All”? Well, sometimes, people like you. At least everyone can now stop wondering how long you’ve had “the biggest crush on the intern.”

6. What’s a break?

You just finished a huge project. Your reward? An even more daunting assignment. Sometimes the end of the tunnel is another, longer, more boring tunnel.

7. Food for thoughtless.

When your coworker doesn’t have a definitive answer to the question “What’s in this?” — don’t eat it. Food poisoning at work is almost as fun as 11,000 paper cuts.

What moment at work should you have called-in sick for? Share and comment below!

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