Messes come in all shapes and sizes, and this Dad has seen quite a few.
12. THE SMASH CAKE
For each of our kids’ 1st birthday parties, we bought the typical "smash cake" for our little one to dig their hands into, destroy and revel in the sugary goodness. What I didn’t count on, was hiring a birthday clown that would turn the tables on me, much to the enjoyment of our guests.
11. CROSS-COUNTRY DRY CLEANING
Driving from California to Maryland with a 1-year-old and 8-week-old in tow (along with the dog), afforded me and my wife the opportunity to get creative in drying a pair of pants that had been peed through at a Grand Canyon overlook.
10. TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY
Clearly my wife hadn’t yet schooled her on the fine art of putting your make-up on in the car while racing to be on time.
9. FREEDOM OF ARTISTIC EXPRESSION
This could’ve very easily been my freshly painted hallway. Sometimes you get off easy.
8. MILK DOES A BODY GOOD
There was a time when I would mock the burping cloth, even laugh in its face. It only took one incident for me to quickly change my mind.
7. THIS NECKLACE DOESN'T FIT
When we started potty-training Charlie, I told him to find his zen and "become ONE with your target." This is not exactly what I meant.
6. THE BLOWOUT
I only wish we were talking about spending a day getting our hair did at the salon. Unfortunately, we’re talking about the death of a onesie and potentially a full-on garden hose spray-down triage in the driveway.
5. DAD LOOK, I'M A MONSTER
An extended period of silence in a house filled with three young kids is never a positive thing. I’ll give him extra points for the horns.
4. AN OLD CLASSIC
If you haven’t had your daily dose of holding your head in your hands and silently counting to ten, perhaps you should do a load of laundry with extra Silly Putty and a Lego circus ringmaster.
3. LET'S GO SHOPPING
Messes come in many forms and this is one of them. We’ll try Crisco first, before we walk her into the ER.
2. THE ANGRY REINDEER
While cute, it’s never easy to tackle the moody youngster that throws a fit during the annual holiday singing program at the convalescent home.
1. BIOHAZARD AT THE BEACH
That moment when you come off the beach with several bags, chairs and coolers in tow, wondering where your daughter just went. And then you black out, collapse and bang your head off the boardwalk because she’s licking the ebola virus off of a public water fountain.
The bottom line is, we all have our messes, but these messes are mine. Care to show us yours?DadOrAlive is a paid contributor to Clorox’s SpinCycle, helping you navigate the messiness of parenthood.