Know your ABC's
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Achoocident (aka Nice to Meet Spew)Air-traffic ControlAnd Bingo Was His Stain-OAnti-accidents ApocolipstickB'Oh (aka Harmpits)Bad-et (aka Splashback)Bait 'n' SniffBallpoint When?Bikram CreepumBleachable Moment of TruthBlubbleBoard-‘oeuvresBoogie on DownCanis Cleanis (aka Fur Facial)Car-postingCarpal FunnelCarsick-ickCham-PainChia MatChristmess Clean (s)WeepCling-onConquering HeroCorn PowderedCraps TableCrud CozieCrumb, da-dum-dum-dahD.I.WHYYY?De-IcingDiamonds in the YuckDiapo-hazardDis'stainDisastro-turfDiss RagDon’t Ask, Don’t Smell (aka Statute of Spillatations)Doomvet (aka Uncomforter)Dumpster divingDust CrustEW De ToiletEw-PhoneFail PolishFajita Cleata  Fashion faux-biaFaucet FaceFido FilmFloormét Dining (aka Left Unders)Fon-Don’tFoopForrest ClumpFowl TerritoryFrench Terry DipFridge-a-mortisGerm Squirm (aka Loo Lieu)Germ-inationGerms of EndearmentGloopyGoing Instain, or Temporary InstainityGoop SnoopGrab Gag (aka Mano a Vomo)Grace InvadersGravelLanche GrueslimeHand, Shoe in MouthHappy Birthday to GooHeave-helloHippo-snotamousHippocratic Oaf (aka Germpocracy)Hot Fudge MondayHover Crap (aka Squat Shot)Hunting and GatheringImPAWSibleIn-car-ceratedInsect-insideJalopeeJersey ShineKetchoopsKnot Mannered (aka Nap-tie)Lady in RedLaundreekLeftover RouletteLick Service (aka Spitsicle)Lint-cidentLunch al deskoMat-o-CatMeat BeatsMessissippi CupMetro ManiMine-stainy SoupMinterventionMoldioMoo Goo Gai PainNacho WheezeNamaste-here anymoreNew Years Skeeve Ninja-romaNostraharmus Obsessive Compulsive Before-I-OrderOdorcadeOh-Sol-Me-atoOhmmm-RomaOnion BlipPee eww! (aka Stale Trail)PetrifriesPine Sol-edPolka Dotty PottyPoo-jay'dPoo-namiPoop-edo (aka Tubtanic)Poopcasso (aka Defec-art)PoopocalypsePopcornundrumPortaPanty Public Trans-ick (aka Tush Hour)Pup-cidentPurllowRanch GuessingRear End DerisionRefrige-laterResidoodoo (aka Unfresh Step)Ring of ThronesSasplotch (aka Prints of Darkness)SchmookScummy GummiesSecret GardenShedder CheeseShmerealShoopShoulder to dry onSlobby KnobbySmear CampaignSMELLdoradoSmughSmush KebabSnotMistSnoysSoap SlushSpaghetti Slurp SlopSpill the Beans (aka Splotchalatte)Spill'sieSpillatesSpillmanellaSpit-shine (aka Spittin Image)Splatteral damageStall CrawlSticky ClickerStove-flopSucker YuckerSzechuan DoodlesTakeout WearTeriyucky The Mad SplatterThe MudslideTip-Elo HoneyTiss-cubedToilet MissueToilet TreesTraining-TredsTriple SprayTub GoatTub MudTuppermoatTureen WreckTxture Up the BackUrindropolisUrine LuckUrinfamousVeggie WedgieWash 'n' MoldWhat the Flu?Wine & JeezWonder mark
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ketchoops
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(kech-oops)
The common occurrence of tapping the ketchup bottle and receiving more than enough condiment all over your food, shirt and hair. chalk arrow
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"Red splat on my lap! Ketchoops!"
"Dribble on my whites! Ketchoops!"
disastro turf
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(dih-zas-tro turf)
When you spill a pot of chili all over the artificial grass on your deck while entertaining. chalk arrow
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"Hey Rover! Clean up on the Disastro-turf!"
"Heads up, guests! Don't slip on the Disastro-turf."
poo nami2
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(poo-nah-mee)
A diaper blowout that resembles a natural disaster and leaves a path of emotional destruction. chalk arrow
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"Take cover! It's a Poo-nami!"
"We're still recuperating from last night's poo-nami."
hover crap
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(huhv-er krap)
The ancient skill of squatting in public restrooms to avoid any cont-ack. chalk arrow
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"I am a master at the Hover Crap."
"When you've gotta go, you've gotta ... know the Hover Crap."
spill the beans
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(spil thuh beens)
Any type of coffee disaster. chalk arrow
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"Early morning wake-ups tend to make me spill the beans."
"I always spill the beans first thing in the morning,"
germ squirm
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(jurm skwurm)
The highly regarded life skill of exiting the bathroom without touching anything. chalk arrow
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"I have perfected the Germ Squirm."
"Reading, writing, good manners and Germ Squirm. Life's important lessons."
what the flu
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(whut thuh floo)
The question asked when someone unexpectedly sneezes on you. chalk arrow
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"I just got sprayed! What the Flu?"
"Cover your mouth! What the Flu?"
hot fudge monday
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(hot fuhj muhn-dey)
The ice cream sundae stain you find after the weekend. chalk arrow
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"Judging by Hot Fudge Monday, it must have been a great weekend."
"Saturday birthday party = hot fudge Monday."
fail polish
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(feyl pol-ish)
Ruining your newly painted nails because you really didn’t have the dry time necessary between to-dos to keep the paint from marking your shirt. chalk arrow
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"Too many chores equals another fail polish."
"I have fail polish all over my shirt."
stove flop
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(stohv-flop)
When you look briefly away from a simmering pot of food and it boils over onto the stove. chalk arrow
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"I think that I am a great cook, but I have my fair share of stove-flops."
"Tonight's dinner was a stove-flop."
insect inside
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(in-sekt-in-sahyd)
When you pull out your camping equipment for a family trip and your tent and sleeping bags are full of bugs. chalk arrow
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"This tent needs some insect-inside."
"Insect-inside means I don’t go outside, staycation please!"
namaste here anymore
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(nuhm-uh-stey-heer en-ee-mawr)
The state achieved when your yoga class gets too full of sweaty people. chalk arrow
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"I am drowning in a cloud of body odor. Namaste-here anymore."
"Oh no, B.O.! Namaste-here anymore."
conquering hero
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(kon-ker-ing heer-oh)
The stain from a sub sandwich that attacks your lap because it was over-layered. chalk arrow
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"Conquering Hero = 1. Lap = 0."
"I wonder if this stain from my conquering hero will ever come out?"
carpal funnel
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(kahr-puhl fuhn-uhl)
The stain you get at the county fair while trying to juggle assorted snacks in one hand and a funnel cake in the other. chalk arrow
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"Snack overload causes a case of carpal funnel."
"You know you've had enough of the treats when you're feeling the carpal funnel."
grace invaders3
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(greys in-veyd-ers)
Houseguests who use your personal toiletry items. chalk arrow
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"My shampoo is gone. It must have been the weekend Grace Invaders."
"I love my sister, but she is a major Grace Invader."
bad et
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(bad-dey)
The flush that sprays back up and gives you a refreshing spritz. chalk arrow
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"Bad-et spray ruined my day."
"I need a shower after my time with the Bad-et."
sucker yucker2
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(suhk-er yuhk-er)
When a binky is covered in dried food and needs a serious cleanin'. chalk arrow
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"That sucker yucker needs a good scrubbing."
"Do not put that sucker yucker in your mouth."
tip elo honey
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(tip-el-oh huhn-ee)
When your toddler spills the honey bear after playing with it at the kitchen table. chalk arrow
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"No use crying over Tip-Elo Honey."
"The table is sticky -- Tip-Elo Honey must have been here."
ballpoint when
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(bawl-point when)
Ink stain that came at what point in your work day? chalk arrow
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"Smudge on my pocket. Ballpoint When?"
"Catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Nice. Ballpoint When?"
canis cleanis
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(keyn-es kleen-us)
When Fido licks your toddler's face like it’s a lollipop. chalk arrow
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"Sauce on the chin calls for some Canis Cleanis."
"We don't need to wash your face tonight, you're all set after that Canis Cleanis."