Know your ABC's
  • ad
  • eh
  • il
  • mp
  • qt
  • uz
Achoocident (aka Nice to Meet Spew)Air-traffic ControlAnd Bingo Was His Stain-OAnti-accidents ApocolipstickB'Oh (aka Harmpits)Bad-et (aka Splashback)Bait 'n' SniffBallpoint When?Bikram CreepumBleachable Moment of TruthBlubbleBoard-‘oeuvresBoogie on DownCanis Cleanis (aka Fur Facial)Car-postingCarpal FunnelCarsick-ickCham-PainChia MatChristmess Clean (s)WeepCling-onConquering HeroCorn PowderedCraps TableCrud CozieCrumb, da-dum-dum-dahD.I.WHYYY?De-IcingDiamonds in the YuckDiapo-hazardDis'stainDisastro-turfDiss RagDon’t Ask, Don’t Smell (aka Statute of Spillatations)Doomvet (aka Uncomforter)Dumpster divingDust CrustEW De ToiletEw-PhoneFail PolishFajita Cleata  Fashion faux-biaFaucet FaceFido FilmFloormét Dining (aka Left Unders)Fon-Don’tFoopForrest ClumpFowl TerritoryFrench Terry DipFridge-a-mortisGerm Squirm (aka Loo Lieu)Germ-inationGerms of EndearmentGloopyGoing Instain, or Temporary InstainityGoop SnoopGrab Gag (aka Mano a Vomo)Grace InvadersGravelLanche GrueslimeHand, Shoe in MouthHappy Birthday to GooHeave-helloHippo-snotamousHippocratic Oaf (aka Germpocracy)Hot Fudge MondayHover Crap (aka Squat Shot)Hunting and GatheringImPAWSibleIn-car-ceratedInsect-insideJalopeeJersey ShineKetchoopsKnot Mannered (aka Nap-tie)Lady in RedLaundreekLeftover RouletteLick Service (aka Spitsicle)Lint-cidentLunch al deskoMat-o-CatMeat BeatsMessissippi CupMetro ManiMine-stainy SoupMinterventionMoldioMoo Goo Gai PainNacho WheezeNamaste-here anymoreNew Years Skeeve Ninja-romaNostraharmus Obsessive Compulsive Before-I-OrderOdorcadeOh-Sol-Me-atoOhmmm-RomaOnion BlipPee eww! (aka Stale Trail)PetrifriesPine Sol-edPolka Dotty PottyPoo-jay'dPoo-namiPoop-edo (aka Tubtanic)Poopcasso (aka Defec-art)PoopocalypsePopcornundrumPortaPanty Public Trans-ick (aka Tush Hour)Pup-cidentPurllowRanch GuessingRear End DerisionRefrige-laterResidoodoo (aka Unfresh Step)Ring of ThronesSasplotch (aka Prints of Darkness)SchmookScummy GummiesSecret GardenShedder CheeseShmerealShoopShoulder to dry onSlobby KnobbySmear CampaignSMELLdoradoSmughSmush KebabSnotMistSnoysSoap SlushSpaghetti Slurp SlopSpill the Beans (aka Splotchalatte)Spill'sieSpillatesSpillmanellaSpit-shine (aka Spittin Image)Splatteral damageStall CrawlSticky ClickerStove-flopSucker YuckerSzechuan DoodlesTakeout WearTeriyucky The Mad SplatterThe MudslideTip-Elo HoneyTiss-cubedToilet MissueToilet TreesTraining-TredsTriple SprayTub GoatTub MudTuppermoatTureen WreckTxture Up the BackUrindropolisUrine LuckUrinfamousVeggie WedgieWash 'n' MoldWhat the Flu?Wine & JeezWonder mark
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bikram creepum
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(bee-kruhm kreep-um)
A sweaty stranger who plops down next to you in yoga. chalk arrow
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"I had to move to the corner due to the bikram creepum."
"Step away, bikram creepum. 6 inches is too close for comfort."
and bingo was his stain o
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(and bing-oh wuhz hiz steyn-o)
Correctly identifying a mystery stain. chalk arrow
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" And, the answer is…chocolate! And Bingo Was His Stain-O "
"My favorite game is And Bingo Was His Stain-O "
fido film
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(fahy-doh film)
The brown layer of sludge that forms inside a dog bowl if it's not cleaned daily. chalk arrow
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"Those pet bowls need to take a dip in the sink to get rid of that Fido film."
"Our dog's dinner always comes with a side of Fido film."
hand shoe in mouth
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(hand shoo in mouth)
When your baby has 24 chew toys attached to his or her stroller but finds more joy in chewing on their shoe. chalk arrow
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"Hand, shoe in mouth is my kid's favorite toy."
"That hand shoe in mouth must taste good."
jersey shine
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(jur-zee shahyn)
The sweaty glow on people's faces at bars, clubs chalk arrow
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"I saw him from across the bar, but as he got closer I could see he was glistening with Jersey shine."
"His Jersey shine was like a beacon in the night."
pee eww
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(pee-ewe)
Toilet that really, really smells of urine chalk arrow
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"That toilet is pee-eww-level stinky."
"I have to go home, the office toilet is too pee-eww for me."
grab gag
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(grab gag)
The misfortune of catching vomit in your hands chalk arrow
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"Bag? Bucket? Oh no – it’s a grab gag! "
"I thought I was prepared, but not for this grab gag!"
world war ps
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(world wawr peez)
The battle against pee & puke & poop that no parent can win. You can't wave a white flag when there is nothing left that is white. chalk arrow
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"When you step into my house, you feel like you've entered World War P."
"I wonder when my own personal World War P is going to end?"
clothes lyin
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(klohz lahy-un)
When you sniff that shirt on the floor, note the odd smell, but convince yourself it's wearable anyway. chalk arrow
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"Running late, I'm definitely clothes lyin' today."
"Extra deodorant will mask this smell. #clotheslyin'"
weepholestery2
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(weep-hohl-stuh-ree)
The covering on your very fancy, brand new, white couch minutes after children have been on it. chalk arrow
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"My two year old turns my couch into a pile of weepholestery."
"Every piece of furniture in my home is covered in weepholstery."
el pino
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(el peen-yo)
The not-entirely-unpleasant phenomenon of pee heating up a body of water such as bath or pool. chalk arrow
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"This pool just heated up by 10 degrees. It must be el Piño."
"My two year old always causes el Piño at the pool."
wiped out2
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(wahypd-out)
The clean wipe you use as a scoop to avoid touching the pile of dirty poop wipes. chalk arrow
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"I need a wipe's wipe to avoid the mess."
"This diaper mess is going to call for a wipe's wipe."
lipstick it to ya
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(lip-stik-it-to-ya)
The feeling you get when you see errant stains inside purses and makeup bags because the lipstick cap fell off. chalk arrow
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"It's time for a new purse after my bout with lipstick-it-to-ya."
"Nothing is going to clean up this lipstick-it-to-ya."
shoe dew2
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(shoo-doo)
When your shoes get wet and end up covered in mildew or mold. chalk arrow
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"Last season's rain boots are covered in shoe-dew."
"These boots have a lot of shoe-dew."
drippity doo dah
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(drip-id-dee doo dah)
The drips of stale water that collect in the bottom of the dirty toilet brush holder. chalk arrow
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"Mop needed, stat. I have drippity doo dah all over my bathroom floor."
"Don't step in that dippity doo dah."
two sie2
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(too-zee)
When the poop from the diaper gets on the one-sie. chalk arrow
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"We need extra wipes, we've got a two-sie."
"This onesie just turned into a two-sie."
jalopee
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(juh-lop-ee)
The leak from the baby’s diaper onto the car floor. chalk arrow
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"Time for some clean-up in this jalopee."
"My jalopee needs a scrub down."
shair spiration2
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(shair-spuh-rey-shuhn)
When sweat from a neighboring treadmill user sprays on you. chalk arrow
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"Thanks for the share-spiration."
"I just came for a workout, I don't need any of your share-spiration."
hippopotaMess
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(hip-uh-pot-uh-mes)
When the entire plate of food falls into your lap. chalk arrow
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"I am always the one with a hippopotaMess on my lap."
"Picnics are a sure way to have a hippopotaMess."
rush hour
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(ruhsh ou-er)
When kids spill their drinks across the table while rushing to catch the bus or ride. chalk arrow
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"The spills are courtesy of rush hour."
"There are so many messes during rush hour."