4 Relatives Who Share Lots With Turkeys
Here are four types of family members who can make gobbling turkey seem like eating crow.
At least once a year it’s important that we give thanks for all the good things in life. The food, the family, the free email accounts. That doesn’t mean Thanksgiving dinner isn’t stressful. Here are four types of family members who can make gobbling turkey seem like eating crow.
1. The Over-Indulger. You know this type: a wine-spilling, cheese-smearing, double-dipper. This character likes to eat and drink with what some might call too much gusto. After a while, they turn overly affectionate, giving you lots of compliments and attention but trailing off midsentence to check out the desserts. This person needs a hug — and some aspirin.
2. Shoulder-shruggers. Small children are cute when they’re mere babies. But when they grow up and learn how to sling around a “whatever” with slouchy exuberance, they morph into much less desirable “shoulder-shruggers” who make the mess and then play innocent. These kids may need to be physically disconnected from their mobile devices so they can engage with the family — or perhaps it’s just better to let them be. They’ll look up eventually … when they need more or just offer pie to get their attention.
3. Grouchy Grands. These two heads of the family are constantly dissatisfied with everything. But who wouldn’t be, when it’s just as hard to sit down as it is to stand up? Also consider that for every one of your own kids’ awful diapers you’ve had to change, these two did the same for you. Maybe they’ve earned it. So keep the peace and either agree with the tirades — or refill their plates so often they’ll be too busy chewing to chat.
4. Mr. Butterfingers. You only bring out that beautiful white tablecloth once or twice a year on special occasions. And there’s a reason for that. It takes your pulse rate that long to recover after watching Mr. Butterfingers pass the cranberry sauce. Fear not, the stain can be removed — unlike Mr. Butterfingers, who seems here to stay. Unless your aunt comes to her senses.
Remember there’s a reason mulled wine is so popular at the holidays: everything goes down easier with it. Even family.