5 Horrifying Nighttime Bed Accidents

Take preventive measures to keep your nights calm.

What do vampires and children have in common? They’re both creatures of the night. Adults like to recharge, replenish, and relax during the night. Children like to party. This, of course, results in some pretty horrifying nighttime clean up.

1.  Wetting the bed. If you’re a parent, you know that diaper changes aren’t only for day time. And even after potty training occurs, there are years when that glass of warm milk before bed results in wet sheets in the night. Then you try to sneak in like a night ninja and change those sheets before your child is even fully awake so you can continue binge watching that hot new show on streaming video.

2. Barf. There are many reasons why a kid might puke in the nighttime: flu, bad food or too many hours listening to boy bands. Until someone devises disposable, compostable bed sheets, you’ll need to take immediate laundry action with that stinky mess. As you might remember from your 21st birthday, pukey sheets are not something you can save until morning.

3. Toy pile-up. Upon being awakened by the Night Alarm (aka child’s voice), many parents rush headlong into a dark bedroom. Exercise caution: you run the risk of suffering grave bodily injury due to stepping on small swords, ponies, fire trucks or other jagged toys built for the sole purpose of damaging parental soles.

4. Lunch clean up. If you’ve ever left your child’s lunchbox until the next morning (or in some cases, many mornings later …) you know what a science experiment that thing can quickly turn into. Fruit formerly known as peaches become mush, and those sandwich remains start to resemble a petri dish. (At least you hope that was a sandwich.) Best to rinse those containers ASAP and give the “germ-sack” (aka lunch sack) a little love with a wipe while you’re at it.

5. Sleepwalking. Adults like to do adult things like watch zombie movies, eat candy, and get, um  … “busy.” Few things are more terrifying than looking up from your adult activity and seeing the beautiful face of your child watching you for … how long? You can never be sure.

If possible, take preventive measures to keep your nights calm: warm baths, a bottle and gentle cooing work wonders for relaxation. For the kids, too.

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