7 Gross Things About Going Back to School

Keep your eyes open for these gross things.

School is basically one giant ick-ubator. Kids with all kinds of colds cram into one room, closely mingling with each other. Until you get that home decontamination chamber, keep your eyes open for these gross things.


    1. Flu. Schools can sometimes be Petri dishes of learning. Every light switch, every water fountain, every locker, every door handle is a wondrous new adventure in Ick. Fortunately, the solution to this one is simple: have your kids wash their hands. A lot! And use wipes to counteract anything they might have brought home. It’s easier than wearing mittens year round.


    1. School lunches. Some schools have great lunches. But when your kid doesn’t even like “pizza day,” you know things are not looking good. It’s best not to think about it. We all survived; so will they.


    1. Gum under desk. Few things make studying more difficult than a string of gum dangling from under a desk, rubbing on knees. Gum stalagmites can either be hard and scratchy, or somewhat moist and loose. The worse part? Even though gum has been banned from most schools for years … It’s. Still. There.


    1. Locker rooms. These dank, dangerous chambers can be like something seen in a medieval fantasy drama. Without the hobbits. Two words: flip flops.


    1. Backpacks. You know that cute, new back-to-school backpack you just bought your child? If it hasn’t been lost yet then it’s either covered in “I heart Riley” doodles or grime. Not sure which is worse.


    1. Lost & Found. The pile is the size of a minivan. Most things appear to be from the great crustacean period.


  1. Bus rides. After a busy day at school, many kids have a bumpy, noisy ride featuring dirty seats, spilled food, or grouchy monitors. Needless to say, after a long bus ride, kids may arrive home thoroughly exhausted. Pun intended.

So get your school – and cleaning – supplies prepped for the return to the Hallowed Hurls of Learning.

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