5 Scariest Halloween Stains

Get out your witches cap and carving kits, it’s almost time for Halloween.

Get out your witches cap and carving kits, it’s almost time for Halloween. It’s terrifying to think of what horrible smears and stains your little pumpkins might bring home from trick-or-treating. Or even what horrible smears and stains you might bring home after making the rookie mistake of buying several large bags of impossible-to-resist candy weeks before Halloween. Here are a few of the scary stains you might encounter.


    1. Dark chocolate. This delicious staple of Halloween is a joy to eat and a pain to clean. The best way to keep dark chocolate from melting into your clothes or furniture is to eat it all very quickly, in one frenzied sitting. Then, hide the evidence.


    1. Pumpkin. Each year we attack the pumpkin as if we’re carving ninjas with high hopes and good intentions. A few minutes into the struggle, however, we realize our sad semi-smiley mouth and two, mismatched triangle eyes are more likely to make a Pinterest Fail board than any Jack-o-lantern Hall of Fame. Show that pumpkin who’s boss by turning its innards into pie.


    1. Makeup. What do duck hunters, dance princesses and child beauty queens have in common? Besides their own reality shows, the costumes rely heavily on makeup. And where there is makeup, there are stains. Especially after your little ones dissolve into a post-sugar-high puddle of tears. Don’t forget: when the happy candy trading turns into a fist-fight over that last choco-crunchy, it’s time to go home.


    1. Gum. Even if you let your child chew gum, there’s something different about the kind that comes in the middle of a lollipop. The difference? The massive amount of sugar your child has consumed to get to it. In the post-candy hyper phase, there’s bound to be some gum mishaps — just hope it’s the “oops-I-swallowed-it” kind, which is easiest to clean up. If not, check here.


  1. Eggs. Having your house egged by mischievous kids is always a danger on Halloween, and truly scary because egg is such a hassle to clean up. To avoid being egged, keep the porch light on, sit outside or give out really awesome candy. Or do all three. If that fails, just hope that the kids who egged your house, aren’t your own. That would be haunting.

The best way to protect your kids from scary stains at Halloween is — obviously — to eat all their candy. Preferably while they’re sleeping so those little detectives don’t hear the rustling wrappers or smell it on your breath. Remember, you’re doing it for the children.

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