Know your ABC's
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  • uz
Achoocident (aka Nice to Meet Spew)Air-traffic ControlAirbola (aka Flyarrhea)And Bingo Was His Stain-OAnti-accidents ApocolipstickB'Oh (aka Harmpits)Bad-et (aka Splashback)Bait 'n' SniffBallpoint When?Bikram CreepumBleachable Moment of TruthBlubbleBoard-‘oeuvresBoogie on DownCanis Cleanis (aka Fur Facial)Car-postingCarpal FunnelCarsick-ickCham-PainChia MatChristmess Clean (s)WeepCling-onConquering HeroCorn PowderedCraps TableCrud CozieCrumb, da-dum-dum-dahD.I.WHYYY?De-IcingDiamonds in the YuckDiapo-hazardDis'stainDisastro-turfDiss RagDon’t Ask, Don’t Smell (aka Statute of Spillatations)Doomvet (aka Uncomforter)Dumpster divingDust CrustEW De ToiletEw-PhoneFail PolishFajita Cleata  Fashion faux-biaFaucet FaceFido FilmFloormét Dining (aka Left Unders)Fon-Don’tFoopForrest ClumpFowl TerritoryFrench Terry DipFridge-a-mortisGerm Squirm (aka Loo Lieu)Germ-inationGerms of EndearmentGloopyGoing Instain, or Temporary InstainityGoop SnoopGrab Gag (aka Mano a Vomo)Grace InvadersGravelLanche GrueslimeHand, Shoe in MouthHappy Birthday to GooHeave-helloHippo-snotamousHippocratic Oaf (aka Germpocracy)Hot Fudge MondayHover Crap (aka Squat Shot)Hunting and GatheringImPAWSibleIn-car-ceratedInsect-insideJalopeeJersey ShineKetchoopsKnot Mannered (aka Nap-tie)Lady in RedLaundreekLeftover RouletteLick Service (aka Spitsicle)Lint-cidentLunch al deskoMat-o-CatMeat BeatsMessissippi CupMetro ManiMine-stainy SoupMinterventionMoldioMoo Goo Gai PainNacho WheezeNamaste-here anymoreNew Years Skeeve Ninja-romaNostraharmus Obsessive Compulsive Before-I-OrderOdorcadeOh-Sol-Me-atoOhmmm-RomaOnion BlipPee eww! (aka Stale Trail)PetrifriesPine Sol-edPolka Dotty PottyPoo-jay'dPoo-namiPoop-edo (aka Tubtanic)Poopcasso (aka Defec-art)PoopocalypsePopcornundrumPortaPanty Public Trans-ick (aka Tush Hour)Pup-cidentPurllowRanch GuessingRear End DerisionRefrige-laterResidoodoo (aka Unfresh Step)Ring of ThronesSasplotch (aka Prints of Darkness)SchmookScummy GummiesSecret GardenShedder CheeseShmerealShoopShoulder to dry onSlobby KnobbySmear CampaignSMELLdoradoSmughSmush KebabSnotMistSnoysSoap SlushSpaghetti Slurp SlopSpill the Beans (aka Splotchalatte)Spill'sieSpillatesSpillmanellaSpit-shine (aka Spittin Image)Splatteral damageStall CrawlSticky ClickerStove-flopSucker YuckerSzechuan DoodlesTakeout WearTeriyucky The Mad SplatterThe MudslideTip-Elo HoneyTiss-cubedToilet MissueToilet TreesTraining-TredsTriple SprayTub GoatTub MudTuppermoatTureen WreckTxture Up the BackUrindropolisUrine LuckUrinfamousVeggie WedgieWash 'n' MoldWhat the Flu?Wine & JeezWonder mark
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training treds
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(trey-ning-trehds)
Marks left on the toilet from a newly trained toddler. chalk arrow
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"We need to wipe off the training-treds."
"Little Bobby left some training-treds on the toilet today."
tub goat2
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(tuhb goht)
When your kids' bathtub toy gets so moldy you can't recognize whether it's supposed to be rubber duck or a tugboat. chalk arrow
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"I think it's time to scrub the tub goat."
"Please don't put that tub goat in your mouth."
schmook2
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(shmook)
The fine layer of gunk that accumulates that can only come for children's hands. chalk arrow
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"We cannot eat at this table because there is a layer of schmook."
"My hand is stuck to the schmook."
hippo snotamous
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(hip-uh-snot-uh-mes)
A bloated, weary, runny nose- and headache-suffering, bedridden sick bed-dweller. chalk arrow
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"Ok, Hippo-snotamous. I guess that you can stay home from school."
"I need some tissues for the Hippo-snotamous upstairs."
dust crust
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(duhst cruhst)
The layer of grime that forms on a deck or patio over the winter. chalk arrow
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"Spring Cleaning 101: Remove the Dust Crust."
"I have to spend all weekend removing the dust crust to get ready for the party."
sticky clicker2
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(stik-ee klik-er)
When your remote control is as sticky as a movie theater floor. chalk arrow
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"We have not cleaned this sticky clicker in 2 years."
"My finger is stuck to the sticky clicker."
christmess
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(kris-mes)
Holiday stains related to pine tree bark, mistletoe, and tinsel. chalk arrow
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"I cannot wait to clean up this Christmess."
"Santa certainly made a Christmess this year."
new years skeeve2
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(nu-yeers-skieve)
The mystery stains you find after graciously hosting a New Year's party. chalk arrow
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"Eew, New Years Skeeve all over my chair."
"What is that New Years Skeeve on my kitchen floor?"
puppy louvre2
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(puhp-ee loo-vruh)
Making a piece of art of out your dog's paw print on the floor. chalk arrow
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"Our house is full of puppy louvre."
"My kitchen floor is like the puppy louvre."
bunk funk
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(Buh-nk Fuh-nk)
The odor that comes from a big boy/girl's bed when you pee through your diaper three nights in a row. chalk arrow
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"Close the bedroom door. The bunk funk is creeping into the hallway."
"We need to wash those sheets to rid them of the bunk funk."
wishWasher2
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(wish-wosh-er)
That feeling when you know the dishwasher won't remove the glued-on cereal left in the yesterday's bowl, but you decide to try it anyway. chalk arrow
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"I'm too lazy to scrub, I'm a wishwasher today."
"Just throw that dish in the wishwasher."
dye saster2
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(dahy-zas-ter)
Staining the bathroom with hair dye as you try to beautify yourself. chalk arrow
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"I guess that towel is ruined after this dye-saster."
"Home spa day usually turns Into a dye-saster."
egg drop soup
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(eg drop soop)
When the dream of carrying all the shopping bags from the car in one single trip meets the reality of cheap bags and gravity. chalk arrow
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"My trip to the grocery store ended with a big pile of egg drop soup."
"There is egg drop soup all over the sidewalk."
vase swamp
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(vahz-swomp)
The landscape inside the vase that occurs when flowers die and you never cleaned out the water. chalk arrow
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"Water looking a little murky? Time to clean out the vase-swamp."
"Vase-swamp…where beautiful flowers go to die."
ranch guessing
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(ranch ges-ing)
Figuring out which part of your salad stained your shirt chalk arrow
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"Looking in the bathroom mirror after lunch is one bug game of ranch guessing."
"Lettuce, tomato, carrot? This ranch guessing game just went into overtime."
szechuan doodles
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(sich-wahn dood-elz)
The pattern that your lo mein noodles make when they fall on the floor chalk arrow
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"Might as well enjoy the moment and appreciate the patterns of those lovely Szechuan doodles all over the floor."
"To feed noodles or to not feed noodles since they always end up as Szechuan doodles on the floor – that is the question."
wine and jeez
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(wahyn and jeez)
The stain that turns your white shirt into a Merlot color chalk arrow
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"I love this shirt now that it's wine & jeez."
"Wine and jeez and new Spring fashion statement."
anti accidents
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(an-tee ak-si-dents)
Berry stains on your clothes chalk arrow
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"I had an anti-accident when I spilled my fruit smoothie."
"We can't leave Tommy alone in the garden, he's too prone to anti-accidents."
Lady in Red2
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(ley-dee in red)
The new nickname you get after spilling so much Shiraz on your white shirt by the end of the night chalk arrow
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"Tonight I was the lady in red."
"More wine made it on my shirt than in my mouth #ladyinred"
smush newkebabs
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smoosh kuh-bob
When your Middle Eastern takeout falls off the kitchen counter. chalk arrow
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I will get my dog to clean up this smush kebab.
Watch where you step, there’s a smush kebab in the kitchen.