Know your ABC's
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  • uz
Achoocident (aka Nice to Meet Spew)Air-traffic ControlAirbola (aka Flyarrhea)And Bingo Was His Stain-OAnti-accidents ApocolipstickB'Oh (aka Harmpits)Bad-et (aka Splashback)Bait 'n' SniffBallpoint When?Bikram CreepumBleachable Moment of TruthBlubbleBoard-‘oeuvresBoogie on DownCanis Cleanis (aka Fur Facial)Car-postingCarpal FunnelCarsick-ickCham-PainChia MatChristmess Clean (s)WeepCling-onConquering HeroCorn PowderedCraps TableCrud CozieCrumb, da-dum-dum-dahD.I.WHYYY?De-IcingDiamonds in the YuckDiapo-hazardDis'stainDisastro-turfDiss RagDon’t Ask, Don’t Smell (aka Statute of Spillatations)Doomvet (aka Uncomforter)Dumpster divingDust CrustEW De ToiletEw-PhoneFail PolishFajita Cleata  Fashion faux-biaFaucet FaceFido FilmFloormét Dining (aka Left Unders)Fon-Don’tFoopForrest ClumpFowl TerritoryFrench Terry DipFridge-a-mortisGerm Squirm (aka Loo Lieu)Germ-inationGerms of EndearmentGloopyGoing Instain, or Temporary InstainityGoop SnoopGrab Gag (aka Mano a Vomo)Grace InvadersGravelLanche GrueslimeHand, Shoe in MouthHappy Birthday to GooHeave-helloHippo-snotamousHippocratic Oaf (aka Germpocracy)Hot Fudge MondayHover Crap (aka Squat Shot)Hunting and GatheringImPAWSibleIn-car-ceratedInsect-insideJalopeeJersey ShineKetchoopsKnot Mannered (aka Nap-tie)Lady in RedLaundreekLeftover RouletteLick Service (aka Spitsicle)Lint-cidentLunch al deskoMat-o-CatMeat BeatsMessissippi CupMetro ManiMine-stainy SoupMinterventionMoldioMoo Goo Gai PainNacho WheezeNamaste-here anymoreNew Years Skeeve Ninja-romaNostraharmus Obsessive Compulsive Before-I-OrderOdorcadeOh-Sol-Me-atoOhmmm-RomaOnion BlipPee eww! (aka Stale Trail)PetrifriesPine Sol-edPolka Dotty PottyPoo-jay'dPoo-namiPoop-edo (aka Tubtanic)Poopcasso (aka Defec-art)PoopocalypsePopcornundrumPortaPanty Public Trans-ick (aka Tush Hour)Pup-cidentPurllowRanch GuessingRear End DerisionRefrige-laterResidoodoo (aka Unfresh Step)Ring of ThronesSasplotch (aka Prints of Darkness)SchmookScummy GummiesSecret GardenShedder CheeseShmerealShoopShoulder to dry onSlobby KnobbySmear CampaignSMELLdoradoSmughSmush KebabSnotMistSnoysSoap SlushSpaghetti Slurp SlopSpill the Beans (aka Splotchalatte)Spill'sieSpillatesSpillmanellaSpit-shine (aka Spittin Image)Splatteral damageStall CrawlSticky ClickerStove-flopSucker YuckerSzechuan DoodlesTakeout WearTeriyucky The Mad SplatterThe MudslideTip-Elo HoneyTiss-cubedToilet MissueToilet TreesTraining-TredsTriple SprayTub GoatTub MudTuppermoatTureen WreckTxture Up the BackUrindropolisUrine LuckUrinfamousVeggie WedgieWash 'n' MoldWhat the Flu?Wine & JeezWonder mark
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disPlaster
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(diz-plahs-derr)
When your child tries to imitate your wall plastering technique around the house with unknown substances. chalk arrow
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"Timmy is practicing his displaster skills."
"We have a little displaster on our hands."
oh no lato pee a
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(oh-no! law-toe-pee-uh)
When the three boys always miss the bowl in the bathroom. chalk arrow
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"Three boys means lots of OH no! Lato-pee-a "
"I just sat in OH no! Lato-pee-a"
auto de feh
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(aw-to day fay)
The instant stench that hits you when you crack open the car door. chalk arrow
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"I just got a big whiff of auto de feh."
"This auto de feh makes my drive home terrible."
beerzilla2
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(beer-zill-uh)
What the bride becomes after getting beer spilled on her wedding dress. chalk arrow
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"My cousin was a beerzilla at my wedding."
"Watch out, here comes Beerzilla!"
tempting fate2
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(temp-ting feyt)
When you wear white and therefore inevitably spill your entire lunch down your shirt. chalk arrow
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"I was tempting fate when I wore this white blouse."
"Tempting fate is wearing a white shirt to a BBQ."
juicy loosey2
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(joo-see loo-see)
Those inevitable spills from a juice box onto your child's first-day-at-school outfit. chalk arrow
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"Don't squeeze! You'll get juicy loosey all over your shirt."
"Don't worry, a little Clorox will take that juicy loosey right out."
cosplaterral damage
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(cole-splah-derr-uhl dam-ej)
The pee that accumulates on the far side of the bottom of the toilet where no one ever remembers to clean until it's too late. chalk arrow
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"I have two boys and they do their fair share of colsplatteral damage around here."
"We need some wipes to clean up that colsplatteral damage."
blunderwear
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(bluhn-der-where)
When it's a day past laundry day and you decide to rewear a "lightly worn" white shirt chalk arrow
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"I hope that my coworkers don't notice my blunderwear."
"Blunderwear. One of life's dirty little secrets."
bum nuggets2
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(buhm -nuhg-its)
Mysterious pieces of solid waste that can pop up anywhere n the home when raising a toddler. chalk arrow
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"No, those are not raisins. I think that we have some bum nuggets on the couch."
"Grab the wipes, I spot a few bum nuggets on the floor."
googies
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(gooh-geez)
The catch-all phrase for anything gross and gooey that collects in a corner. chalk arrow
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"This room is not clean, I still see some googies."
"That pile of googies has to go."
poopsi roll
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(poop-see rohl)
When your dog decides to roll in other dogs' poop. chalk arrow
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"Fido just got out and did a poopsie roll."
"Yuck! I think that the dog did a poopsie roll."
pee over2
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(pee oh-ver)
When changing a baby boy's diaper and he pees in an arc that ends up across your face or in your hair. chalk arrow
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"Watch out for the pee-over!"
"I got a pee-over all over my face!"
ice brigade
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(ayes bri-geyd)
When all the ice from the glass you're drinking out of suddenly all collapses onto your face and clothes. chalk arrow
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"I just got attacked by the ice brigade."
"My chin is freezing because of the ice brigade."
water ghosts
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(wot-er gohsts)
The marks left on a shiny surface such as glass or stainless steel when water drops dry. chalk arrow
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"I am haunted by water ghosts."
"Make sure to dry the mirror so that we don't get any water ghosts."
urinfamous
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(yoor-in-fuh-muhs)
A ring of urine droplets left atop an un-raised toilet seat by older child or teenager. chalk arrow
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"Urinfamous for leaving a mess on the toilet."
"You should know better than to be urinfamous."
germ ination2
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(jurm-in-ay-shun)
When every single person you encounter during the day coughs or sneezes on you in the height of flu season. chalk arrow
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"My office is one big germ-ination station."
"I can 't leave the house today for fear of germ-ination."
spaghetti slurp slop
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(spuh-get-ee slurp slop)
When your toddler slurps down their spaghetti, and neither bib nor bubble, can prevent spaghetti sauce from wreaking havoc on their whites. chalk arrow
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"Clorox can always get out the inevitable spaghetti slurp slop."
"I hope that these whites are not ruined by this spaghetti slurp slop."
diapo hazard2
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(dahy-po-haz-erd)
The germ infested risk associated with public changing stations chalk arrow
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"Put down a towel to avoid the diapo-hazard."
"Diapo-hazard. Another joy of shopping with kids."
going instain
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(go-ing in-steyn)
The act of losing your mind when a spot simply won't come out. chalk arrow
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"I am going instain because I really wanted to wear this shirt tonight."
"This mustard won't come out. I think that I am going temporarily instain."
mintervention2
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(mint-er-ven-shun)
Offering a friend a breath mint or piece of gum without making a big fuss about his or her bad breath. chalk arrow
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"Things are smelly funky. I think that someone needs a mintervention."
"Lunch is over. We all need a little mintervention."