Know your ABC's
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  • uz
Achoocident (aka Nice to Meet Spew)Air-traffic ControlAirbola (aka Flyarrhea)And Bingo Was His Stain-OAnti-accidents ApocolipstickB'Oh (aka Harmpits)Bad-et (aka Splashback)Bait 'n' SniffBallpoint When?Bikram CreepumBleachable Moment of TruthBlubbleBoard-‘oeuvresBoogie on DownCanis Cleanis (aka Fur Facial)Car-postingCarpal FunnelCarsick-ickCham-PainChia MatChristmess Clean (s)WeepCling-onConquering HeroCorn PowderedCraps TableCrud CozieCrumb, da-dum-dum-dahD.I.WHYYY?De-IcingDiamonds in the YuckDiapo-hazardDis'stainDisastro-turfDiss RagDon’t Ask, Don’t Smell (aka Statute of Spillatations)Doomvet (aka Uncomforter)Dumpster divingDust CrustEW De ToiletEw-PhoneFail PolishFajita Cleata  Fashion faux-biaFaucet FaceFido FilmFloormét Dining (aka Left Unders)Fon-Don’tFoopForrest ClumpFowl TerritoryFrench Terry DipFridge-a-mortisGerm Squirm (aka Loo Lieu)Germ-inationGerms of EndearmentGloopyGoing Instain, or Temporary InstainityGoop SnoopGrab Gag (aka Mano a Vomo)Grace InvadersGravelLanche GrueslimeHand, Shoe in MouthHappy Birthday to GooHeave-helloHippo-snotamousHippocratic Oaf (aka Germpocracy)Hot Fudge MondayHover Crap (aka Squat Shot)Hunting and GatheringImPAWSibleIn-car-ceratedInsect-insideJalopeeJersey ShineKetchoopsKnot Mannered (aka Nap-tie)Lady in RedLaundreekLeftover RouletteLick Service (aka Spitsicle)Lint-cidentLunch al deskoMat-o-CatMeat BeatsMessissippi CupMetro ManiMine-stainy SoupMinterventionMoldioMoo Goo Gai PainNacho WheezeNamaste-here anymoreNew Years Skeeve Ninja-romaNostraharmus Obsessive Compulsive Before-I-OrderOdorcadeOh-Sol-Me-atoOhmmm-RomaOnion BlipPee eww! (aka Stale Trail)PetrifriesPine Sol-edPolka Dotty PottyPoo-jay'dPoo-namiPoop-edo (aka Tubtanic)Poopcasso (aka Defec-art)PoopocalypsePopcornundrumPortaPanty Public Trans-ick (aka Tush Hour)Pup-cidentPurllowRanch GuessingRear End DerisionRefrige-laterResidoodoo (aka Unfresh Step)Ring of ThronesSasplotch (aka Prints of Darkness)SchmookScummy GummiesSecret GardenShedder CheeseShmerealShoopShoulder to dry onSlobby KnobbySmear CampaignSMELLdoradoSmughSmush KebabSnotMistSnoysSoap SlushSpaghetti Slurp SlopSpill the Beans (aka Splotchalatte)Spill'sieSpillatesSpillmanellaSpit-shine (aka Spittin Image)Splatteral damageStall CrawlSticky ClickerStove-flopSucker YuckerSzechuan DoodlesTakeout WearTeriyucky The Mad SplatterThe MudslideTip-Elo HoneyTiss-cubedToilet MissueToilet TreesTraining-TredsTriple SprayTub GoatTub MudTuppermoatTureen WreckTxture Up the BackUrindropolisUrine LuckUrinfamousVeggie WedgieWash 'n' MoldWhat the Flu?Wine & JeezWonder mark
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wine and jeez
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(wahyn and jeez)
The stain that turns your white shirt into a Merlot color chalk arrow
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"I love this shirt now that it's wine & jeez."
"Wine and jeez and new Spring fashion statement."
anti accidents
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(an-tee ak-si-dents)
Berry stains on your clothes chalk arrow
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"I had an anti-accident when I spilled my fruit smoothie."
"We can't leave Tommy alone in the garden, he's too prone to anti-accidents."
Lady in Red2
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(ley-dee in red)
The new nickname you get after spilling so much Shiraz on your white shirt by the end of the night chalk arrow
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"Tonight I was the lady in red."
"More wine made it on my shirt than in my mouth #ladyinred"
smush newkebabs
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smoosh kuh-bob
When your Middle Eastern takeout falls off the kitchen counter. chalk arrow
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I will get my dog to clean up this smush kebab.
Watch where you step, there’s a smush kebab in the kitchen.
boardoeuvres
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(bawr-durvz)
Lingering crumbs in your keyboard from one too many work lunches chalk arrow
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"Company coming – if I don’t get to the store, I’ll have only board ‘oeuvres to serve them!"
"I’ve spent so much time at the computer, these board ‘oeuvres don’t look that bad."
soup
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mih-nes-steyn-ee soop
The stain from vegetable soup at an Italian restaurant. chalk arrow
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Looks like I’m taking my mine-stainy soup to-go all over my shirt.
Today’s lunch special – mine-stainy soup!
poopocalypse
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(poop-ah-cah-lips)
End of Days brought on by an epic baby blowout chalk arrow
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"Tuesday's laundry pile, brought to you by the Poopocalypse."
"Who knew that introducing sweet potatoes to the baby would bring on the Poopacalypse?"
fashion faux bia
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(fash-uhn foh-bee-uh)
Fear of wearing nice clothes around toddlers chalk arrow
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"New spring dress and 2 year old birthday party makes for one big fashion faux-bia moment."
"Anxiety? No worries, fashion faux-bia only lasts a few years…. And in the meantime I have Clorox"
grueslime
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(gru-slym)
Surprise filth that sticks to your fingers after touching what you thought was a clean surface chalk arrow
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"I sat down to eat my lunch and found the grueslime next to my plate."
"I think the dog is the only one that appreciates grueslime."
de icing
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(di-ahy-sing)
Removing a frosting stain from your child’s shirt after a birthday party chalk arrow
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"Penny's party dress needs some serious de-icing after this bday blowout. "
"When you decide to have your cake and wear it too, it's time for some de-icing."
shoop
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(shoop)
Dog poop that makes its way into the house on the bottom of your shoe chalk arrow
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"Who didn't take off their shoes and made all these shoop stains!"
"In my house, the number one cause of marital fights is who has to clean up the shoop."
splatteral damage
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(splat-er-uhl-dam-ij)
The mess caused by poor aim, particularly around the toilet chalk arrow
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"We started potty training and boy has there been a lot of splatteral damage."
"Bobby left a trail of splatteral damage in his wake."
urineluck
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(yohr-in luhk)
A toddler goes potty successfully for the first time chalk arrow
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"Eureka - Urine luck moment for my son! Cupcakes for dessert tonight!"
"Urine luck (not) - by the time my son is ready for his ""big boy"" underpants, he will go straight into designer duds!"
up the back
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(uhp thuh bak)
The baby has a blow out that escapes the diaper through the rear door chalk arrow
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"We went for a quick change at the party, but it was up the back - time for look #2."
"Dad is on diaper duty because we had another up the back."
germs of endearment
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(jurms uhv en-deer-muhnt)
When your little loved one accidentally sneezes in your face and clothes chalk arrow
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"Wonder how I got this miserable cold? Oh, that's right - saw germs of endearment last week…"
"My friend did not respond well to a sweet germs of endearment moment - may need to find a new sitter for date night!"
sasplotch
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(sass-ploch)
Mysterious giant footprint through the house chalk arrow
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"My kid may be scared of monsters, I'm scared of the sasplotch."
"Bring out the mop there's a sasplotch on the loose."
heave hello
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(heev he-loh)
When your baby spits up on a person you're talking to chalk arrow
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"So embarrassed when my son gave my boss the big heave-hello. Hope I don't get the big heave-ho…"
"Good excuse to go shopping: an unusually messy heave-hello from my sister's daughter this morning."
spillates
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(spil-Iah-teez)
Stretching exercises that tone muscles and improve flexibility when you’re wiping up spills under tables and on countertops chalk arrow
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"I skipped the gym today, but at least I got a good spillates workout."
"My core is getting super-toned due to my mandatory spillates sessions."
smell dorado
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(smel-duh-rah-doh)
Where you keep the cat's litter box chalk arrow
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"Fluffy doesn’t like when we visit her in her smelldorado"
"Once we got a cat the bathroom became a smelldorado"
apocolipstick
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(uh-pok-uh-lip-stik)
When your lipstick ends up on more than just your lips. chalk arrow
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"Experienced a major apocolipstick today on the bus - my face looks like a kindergarten art project!"
"Went to the circus this weekend - the clowns looked just like me after apocolipstick."